Dirt Cheap Tours

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Dirt Cheap Tours

Margarita Daydreaming?

To mis-quote Jimmy Buffett--
”are you freezin’ up in Buffalo, stuck in your car? You could be lyin’ here ‘neath the sun and the stars!”*

*a roof is optional with our budget cottages

Dirt Cheap Island Tours and Rentals

ECONOMICAL JEEP TOURS

TAKE A "3 HOUR TOUR"

Are you cheap? Well, so are we!

No-frills Tours and Accommodations for the budget-minded, rugged individualist.

Want to experience the thrill of living without any modern conveniences?
Are you tired of those costly all-inclusive eco-tours that treat you like a sissy?
cater to your every whim?
Well, you won’t find that kind of treatment HERE!

Dirt Cheap Tours

Where nothing is included, and we are adding more all the time!
We won’t pamper or coddle you in any way. Your privacy is our goal.
In fact, you can be assured that once we’ve collected your money, our policy is to totally ignore you for the duration of your stay. No annoying inquiries from us as to your health, safety, or comfort.
As an added bonus, you are relieved of the stress of spending your vacation trying to reach our office.
We have installed a 24 hour Service Line for your convenience.
Call us and hear a truly amazing variety of service options and soothing ‘easy listening’ music.
We guarantee that you will NEVER reach an annoying service representative when you call our Service Line.

RESERVE NOW! CALL 555-1212 FOR MORE INFORMATION!

Our Friendly Service Manager

Sailing Lessons Available

HURRY!!

SIGN UP NOW! SPECIAL RATES!

OFFER GOOD UNTIL THE NEXT HIGH TIDE

Stay On The Beach!!!

COZY ONE BEDROOM COTTAGE

Fully equipped with all-natural air conditioning and none of the modern conveniences.

· All our housing rentals feature 100% recycled materials & are tastefully furnished with "one of a kind" items gathered from the "Four Corners of the World", "The Seven Seas"...and a “tramp steamer” or two.

DELUXE TWO BEDROOM BUNGALOW

· All Cottages and Bungalows are TOTALLY WIRELESS.
(except the wire that keeps the door closed.)
· Almost nearly new hammocks that have comfortably slept 1 or more adults, several small children, a dog or two, and an occasional waundering fisherman.
· Selected catalogs and newspapers thoughtfully provided for your personal hygiene needs.
· Authentic “Tierra” floors, and a broom & bucket in every rental.

GET CLOSE TO NATURE!

· No long treks to view the local wildlife, the area is just teeming with all sorts of critters! Experience the thrill of Nature so close you can touch it...and vice versa.

WHY PAY LESS?

Dirt Cheap Tours

FOR A VACATION YOU'LL NEVER FORGET

...no matter how you try!